


Take My Body and All it Has to Offer

by shit_shippers_say



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bottom Derek, Desperate Derek, Dom/sub, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Masturbation, Protective Stiles, Sexual Content, Sick Derek, dominated derek, dominating stiles, possible angst, sterek masturbation, sterek smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 07:15:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3125678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shit_shippers_say/pseuds/shit_shippers_say
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the moment we're born to the moment we die, we are loved.</p><p>Not everyone believes this theory, but we know it's true. There are over a billion people in this world and you can never know for sure that not one of them cares. Not one of them is like you in one way or another.</p><p>Derek; Derek felt this way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I found unfinished on my phone. I couldn't let it stay that way so here it is :). The title is a work in progress, however.

_Prologue_

From the moment we're born to the moment we die, we are loved.

Not everyone believes this theory, but we know it's true. There are billions of people in this world and you can never know for sure that not one of them cares. Not one of them is like you in one way or another.

Derek; Derek felt this way. His life in Beacon Hills after his family died was tough. He wanted to believe that there was someone out there who cared, he really did, but every time he looked at the pack, how they laughed together and talked together, he remembered that Scott made a better Alfa than he ever could.

Scott was able to bring together five different social-niche cliches, in harmony, no less. Lydia; the pretty, smart, popular one. Allison; the quiet master in badassery (credit goes to her father for making her into a master hunter. A+, Argent). Ethan and Aidan; the two jocks. Isaac; the insanely shy, physically abused little puppy. Kira; the powerful yet unsure of herself Kitsune. And finally, Stiles; the smart, over-active researcher who can only stop talking long enough to eat, breath, and sleep (honestly, Derek thinks Stiles has been through enough in his life; especially the past few months). Scott was able to bring all of these people together to form the perfect pack even when he wasn't leader. Scott really was a True Alfa. And Derek, well what did Derek do? He managed to let Allison _and_ Aidan die and watched as Ethan and Isaac moved away out of grief.

Wow. Maybe nobody really _did_ care about Derek. At least, not at this point.


	2. Chapter 1

"Scott's called a pack meeting." Lydia's voice emanated through the shit quality speaker on Derek's crap cell phone. The need for a new one has just not presented itself, so Derek sticks with what he has. As they say, _if it ain't broke, don't fix it._ Or was that just a movie he saw once?

"You better get going, then." He sighed, lazily rolling a pen between his fingertips. He stopped going to pack meetings when he realized that anything he said would just be turned around. But we're making the pack sound like the bad guys here. They're not. In fact, they would rather have Derek there, but they know better than to try and reason with a former Alfa. Obviously, they got nowhere. They're used to it now.

"I should. And _we_ should meet for coffee later." Lydia said. Derek rolled his eyes, fondly.

"Goodbye, Lydia."

"Derek wait--"

But Derek had hung up. He'd heard the same shit from Kira and Scott. _"We should hang out some time!"_ or, _"Let's meet up. Talk about what's going on."_ When really, the only thing going on is Derek's internal struggle to not lose his mind before he got to see another sunrise. Derek cared about all of them, he really did, and he knew they cared about him too. At least Scott, Lydia and Kira did, he's pretty sure he could die in a fiery explosion and Stiles wouldn't even bat an eyelash.

Derek didn't blame Lydia or Kira or Scott for his recent caution in avoiding supernatural happenings, and he definitely didn't blame Stiles (who hadn't said a word to him since the whole Nogitsune thing). The last time Derek even 'saw' Stiles was in that dream he had a while back, mere hours after everything had calmed down.

_**"He wasn't in the house." Stiles said, rushing in the front door of Scott's house, a gust of wind carrying flakes of snow and ice following him. "One of the neighbors said they saw his car leaving, but it didn't look like Derek was the one driving."** _

_**"Lydia look for any reports of Derek's car." Scott said. Lydia nodded and pulled out her laptop. Kira settled herself next to Lydia to assist her in anyway possible.** _

_**"Reports?" Stiles said. "What if he's hurt? Or dead, Scott?!" Scott sighed.** _

_**"I'm trying, Stiles!"** _

_**"You're trying? Derek could be out there hurt or dead or cold or hungry and you're trying?!" Stiles shouted.** _

_**"Stiles!" Kira shot out of her seat on the couch before Scott lunged at the boy. "We're all worried about Derek, but you screaming is not going to help us find him!"** _

_**"Sorry that I'm worried about my husband freezing or starving to death!" Stiles said.** _

_**"Okay, okay! We'll find him!" Scott said. His eyes were glowing red with determination to find the missing link to his pack.** _

_**"Lydia, have you found the car yet?" Kira asked.** _

_**"2010 black Chevy Camaro spotted just outside of town." Lydia shut the laptop and grabbed her jacket. "Abandoned, but it's a start."** _

_**Stiles already had his jacket thrown around his body as he dashed out the door, the rest of the pack following quickly after him. As they all piled into the old, rusted blue Jeep, Lydia took her phone out and started shouting directions to Stiles. By the time they reached the shiny, black Camaro, they were waiting atop a small, rickety wood bridge going over a narrow stream of water. Stiles was the first to throw himself from the Jeep, followed soon by Scott, then Lydia, then Kira.** _

_**"Derek!" The cry was more demanding an answer than trying to get the missing man's attention.** _

_**"He's here..." Scott mumbled. "I can feel it."** _

_**"Really?" Kira asked curiously. Scott nodded absentmindedly.** _

_**"There!" Lydia yelled, pointing just off the shore of the water in the distance.** _

_**Stiles couldn't have moved faster if he were being chased by a mountain lion. He sprinted to the heap of damp leather and pale skin. His hands shook as he lifted the body up. It was definitely Derek.** _

_**"Derek..." Stiles whispered. "Derek wake up, please. Please wake up..."** _

_**There was no answer as the lifeless, limp pile of man in Stiles's arms began to sag due to his lacking in muscles. The light heart that Stiles used to have became heavy as the realization finally settled in. Derek was gone.** _

_**For good.** _

_**"No... NO!" Stiles shouted as the sobs paired with tears poured out of his body. "You can't be dead!" He sobbed. "I love you..."** _

_**The snow continued to fall until everything became white in his vision except for Derek and the tears began to freeze to his cheeks.** _

This dream was strange and unrealistic because of two reasons; 1) Derek was dead or absent the entire time and scientific studies of dreams have stated that you can't die in your dreams. 2) He and Stiles were married when he hadn't even been in the same room as the boy for weeks.

But other than that little detail, Derek's had just a dandy time being holed up in his loft for days at a time, surviving solely on take out Chinese and cans of soda.

Yep, nothing better than this...


	3. Chapter 2

Derek was beginning run out of leftovers that were actually edible. So, naturally, he called his favorite Chinese place and ordered two orders of his usual dish, Tso's Chicken and Rice. He waited and waited until it finally arrived a little over fifteen minutes later.

After paying the delivery boy, Derek closed the door, put the food in the fridge and laid on the couch. It was quiet again. Quiet. Peaceful. Tranquil.

 _Boring_.

Derek was so _bored_.

His eyes began to drift closed and his muscles began to relax in complete drowsiness. Not because he hadn't been sleeping, but because he had nothing _better_ to do. He'd read through all the books in his loft and even some he had found discarded in the woods during the nights he spent roaming around in the darkness. He could go into the woods now, but it was much too early in the day. One of the pack were bound to see him.

Just as sleep was beginning to take hold of him, Derek's phone buzzed. Two long, drawn-out vibrations that alerted him it wasn't a text, but a voice call. In short, he couldn't ignore it.

With a groan, Derek rolled over and snatched his phone off the floor, his only link to the pack. He clicked the 'accept' button without looking at the name, but he already knew who it was.

"Hello, Kira." He greeted, sleep rugged in his voice.

"Hi, Derek." She chirped into the speaker. Even with his shitty phone he could hear that she was happy. Not surprising, she usually always is, Derek thought.

"Are you attempting to get me to go somewhere with you?" He asked.

"No." Kira said, drawing out the word as though she knew he would say that. "Open the door."

Derek sat bolt upright when he realized what she meant. "Kira, I'm really not in the mood--"

"Don't care. Open up, jackass." Derek sighed and opened the loft door.

"How many times have I told you guys, I don't- oh, you brought Lydia, too. Great." Derek was attempting to protest the girls' sudden intrusion, to no avail, when they walked passed him and immediately made comfort on his couch.

"How are you not dying of boredom?" Lydia asked. "You never leave this place. Doesn't it get nauseating, seeing the same things, wandering the same places day after day?"

Derek was dizzy just thinking about it. Thank god he had taken to going into the woods at night to let all his frustrations out on trees or he would have never survived the passed two weeks.

"Not necessarily." He said. "There is entertainment in small things, you know."

"Like?" Kira asked.

"Like reading. Ever heard of it?" Derek asked, over accentuating his innocence with a tilt of his head.

Lydia rolled her eyes in exasperation. "That can't be all you do." She said, ignoring is snarky comment.

"It's not. Sometimes I'll stare out the window and contemplate the meaning of life while eating Chinese food." Derek dead-panned. In reality, yes, that's pretty much all he did.

"Do you even own a computer? Or a TV? Something other than that shitty little Nokia?" Kira asked.

"I do own a laptop." Derek snapped half-heartedly.

"Ever heard of porn? I hear it's great for relaxation." Lydia said.

Derek pulled a face at her and scrunched his nose. "Ha ha, very funny. Do I seem like the porn type to you?"

"Not exactly. You strike me more as the 'I-fuck-who-I-want-because-I'm-that-hot' type." Kira said.

"But also the 'I'm-sensitive-so-please-don't-leave-me-alone' type." Lydia added in a pondering tone.

"Yeah, he's definitely more of the 'get-up-and-fuck' but 'I-want-breakfast-and-coffee-in-the-morning'."

"When did this become a discussion of my sex preference?" Derek said, only to be ignored by them once again.

"Oh god, could you imagine? I bet he'd be clingy, too."

"Um, hello, I'm Derek Hale, the guy you're talking about like he's not standing two feet from you." Derek said.

"Look, all we're saying is maybe you need some... tension release." Lydia carefully chose her words, like she was talking to a small child.

Derek was taken aback. _Is this really happening right now? Jesus Christ, I need a fucking drink_. He stopped, taking stock of what he'd just understood and arched an eyebrow.

"Did you two come here to _inform_ me that I am sexually frustrated?"

"Well, when you put it that way--"

"Right, it's been fun but I really think you two should go before I accidentally lose control of my powers on the both of you." Derek said, warning and venom in his words.

Lydia and Kira weren't afraid of his empty threats, but left nonetheless. They knew better than to push Derek on a subject like that.

They reported back to Scott who, not surprisingly, was the mastermind behind the whole hair-brained scheme.

He had a pretty good laugh.

That night found Derek in the woods, again. The rest of the daylight had been spent thinking about whether or not he was sexually frustrated. He was with Braden for a while, but that ship sailed after the Kate thing. After that there had been nothing. It had been a minimum of forty somewhat days since he'd had sex.

Frustrated? More like craving. Craving something, _anything_ , that would make this itch go away. The itch he'd only paid attention to when his friends told him about it.

Did Derek need therapy on how to take care of himself or something? Seriously, he couldn't even tell when his own body needed something other than food and water, he had to be told by someone else.

Derek groaned and leaned against a tree to keep himself steady. He did need something. Immediately, but it wasn't therapy. He needed someone to take care of the tightness under his skin and the itching in his fingers.

He didn't have anyone. So he resorted to going home and jerking off in bed until he couldn't feel his legs and his eyes rolled back and his thighs closed, forbidding any more.

Fuck werewolf stamina.


	4. Chapter 3

Kira was right, Derek could have anyone he wanted. Guy or girl. The problem with that, though, was that he wasn't about to go out and scout a night club. He hadn't done that since he was seventeen, and he wasn't about to start again.

See, the thing was that Derek _wanted_ _a guy._ There was just something about the thought of being full that made him want to scream in agony until he got what he wanted; _needed_.

The nights went by slowly, the full moon there and gone, as Derek's needs slowly became unbearable. Thoughts lead to fingers, and fingers lead to that thing he keeps in the darkest corner of his loft out of shame, but vibrates in just the right way and hits just the right spot.

Finally, even that became inferior to the actual feeling of someone inside him. Derek didn't know, honestly, what the fuck had gotten into him (clearly a lot of things that he'd really like to not remember in such detail, but at the same time never wanted to stop thinking about). It was like one day he was fine, and the next he was locking himself in his room for hours upon hours, in the darkness of night, doing things he hadn't thought of doing in months. Years, even. the last time Derek had thought about being with a guy was when he was seventeen, and even then it was just random jocks his age, behind abandon buildings and in parked cars. Never to this degree of utter _need_ though. Derek was so frustrated and pent up that he couldn't focus on anything but eating, sleeping, and the occasional showering. He'd never felt anything like this and he was a complete _mess_.

These feelings, they were so foreign. So uncalled for. So _human._ The human part might just be him overreacting, but it still made him feel vulnerable and... small. His remedy? Calling Lydia.

"I'm losing it, Lydia." Derek said into the phone. "Absolutely losing it."

"Ok, calm down." Lydia sighed, and Derek could practically _hear_ her rolling her eyes. "What exactly is the issue here?"

"Were you not just listening to me for the past twenty minutes?"

"I was, but I still don't see your problem!" Lydia suddenly huffed. "Honestly, Derek, you can bang anybody you want."

"That's the thing, I don't just wanna go out and 'bang' somebody." Derek sighed. No, this was more than just lust. Derek _wanted_ someone. A friend, a lover, a person to share things with, a person who would scent him and knot him and tell him they wanted a family with him. Naturally, he would never tell Lydia any of this so he settled for: "It's not my thing anymore."

"Is Derek Hale getting sentimental?" Lydia laughed. That's why he never tells her. That and no one else really knows how... submissive he is. "Seriously, Derek, if you want a boyfriend or girlfriend go out and get one."

"But I don't! I just-- I don't know."

Lydia sighed. "Then I don't know what to tell you."

"Yeah, me neither." Derek mumbled.

"I gotta go. You wanna come to coffee with us tomorrow?" She asked.

"Yeah, sure." Derek said.

"Really? You don't have to stare out your window contemplating the Big Bang Theory or something?"

"Not tomorrow." Derek sighed. He figured it would be better than sitting, alone in his room. Again. And probably jerking off. Again. "Goodbye, Lydia."

"Bye, Derek."

Coffee with the girls. What could go wrong?


	5. Chapter 4

Issue 1: It wasn't just coffee with the girls, it was coffee with the pack.

Issue 2: It was a surprise pack meeting, thank you, Scott.

Issue 3: Derek hated coffee.

This was the worst decision he'd ever made.

Scott was going on about something he didn't understand, Lydia was looking at her freshly manicured nails as though they were the most interesting thing in the world, Kira was looking at Scott as she absentmindedly stirred her latte, and Stiles looked like he was doing everything in his power to look anywhere but at Derek.

"Is there a plan, or are we just going in blind?" Stiles finally said when Scott had finished talking. "It seems to me like we're sitting ducks and this disease is a herd of bears with machine guns."

"What disease?" Derek asked.

Stiles' face flashed with annoyance before he answered. "There's a disease going around local packs of werewolves that causes them to feel human emotions, pain and urges, both physical and mental. Since some of the wolves haven't felt these things in mass amounts of time, decades in some cases, it's driven them to death."

Derek's throat went tight. That sounded painful and exhausting and he really wished he'd stayed home and why did he want to do this in the first place?

"It's airborne," Stiles continued. "It affects mostly Alfas but it's not out of the question to take a beta or an omega."

"What do you mean by 'driven' to death?" Derek asked.

Stiles sighed. "It's all pretty much suicide since their bodies can technically handle the disease, but not their minds."

"So it's a mental illness?"

"Kind of." Stiles said. It was the first time in months that they had spoken and Derek really didn't know why because this was really interesting, especially being told by Stiles. "It effects their mind to a point where it's unbearable but also their body. It slows down their healing abilities and slowly dulls their senses."

"A pack not far from here got hit with a case about a week ago, but nobody else was affected. As far as we know, at least." Scott said. "And there's no way it could reach Beacon Hills from where it had started."

"What if it can be carried by humans?" Derek said, and suddenly everyone was quiet.

"What do you mean?" Scott asked.

"I mean, what if the disease can latch itself to humans even though it only affects werewolves?" Derek reiterated. "It's not unheard of that that kind of thing could happen."

"Derek's right." Stiles said, looking as though he had just seen something he shouldn't have. "This could be mobilized."

"You mean it could come to Beacon Hills?" Lydia said.

"No," Derek said. "I mean it might already be here."

 

~

 

After their incredibly informative (and slightly terrifying) pack meeting, Derek had gone home.

He wanted nothing more than to collapse on his bed, or maybe couch, and pass the fuck out. He wanted to, but his body had other plans.

The itch was back and so, so intense it was making his head spin and his vision blur. Derek didn't know what was going on, or why, but he was smart enough to strip every scrap of clothing from his body so his skin could breathe and he could think again. Once his thoughts began to circulate again, Derek began searching through his fantasies. Maybe one would make it go away.

Suddenly, as though a cruel joke, Derek's mind decided to pull out the big guns.

**_While it felt like their bodies were merely there, connected and moving as one, while it was so incredibly intimate and passionate, it was also rough and desperate. Derek was panting and shaking, his muscles and senses betraying him in the best way possible. He was thankful of the fact that he was being pressed face first into the mattress, his eyes rolled back and his shoulders shook with sobs of pleasure._ **

**_"Derek... ha... fuck, Derek..." Came the heavy, panting voice above. "That's it, Derek, just like that... fuck, so tight..."_ **

**_"Harder... oh god please don't stop..." Was Derek's response, a desperate, whimpering, sob that could have easily come from an omega desperate for an Alfa's breeding knot. "Fuck, I'm almost there..."_ **

**_"Yeah, come, Derek. Give in like the desperate bitch I know you are." He growled. A ferral noise that reminded Derek of every submissive fantasy in his spank bank._ **

**_With a final cry of painfully delicious pleasure, Derek reached the most intense orgasm he'd had in his life. And there was but one name on his lips:_ **

**_"_ Stiles _!!!"_**

" _Stiles_!!!" Derek, quite literally, shot out of his fantasy. His eyes snapped open and he tore his hand from the base of the toy he didn't even know was inside of him.

Derek's hands trembled with aftershocks of orgasm, but also with shock and confusion of what he'd just gotten off to. His mind had chosen that specific vision of Stiles fucking him senseless. There wasn't even a definite setting. It could have been Stiles' house or Derek's apartment, but it easily could have been the police station, or the mall, so on and so on. Why? Why was Derek suddenly so... into Stiles? Or rather, why did he see Stiles inside him? Why was he the bottom? Was he really that submissive that he would let Stiles fucking Stilinski fuck him like a bitch?

Derek didn't have time for an extisential crisis, however, becaus his thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing. This seems to be happening a lot lately...

"Derek! Quick, there's been another casualty." Scott said into the receiver.

"The disease again?" Derek asked, his voice still not fully back to normal.

"Yeah... uh, are you feeling alright? You sound... winded?" Scott's tone was scattered with confusion.

"I was just... doing something..." Derek said, facepalming because really, how much more obvious could you be? "I'll be there in five."

"Right. See you then..."


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow sorry about not uploading but I've recently gotten some inspiration. After rereading the beginning (holy shit it's awful how did anyone like it) I decided to make it better. Enjoy!

"When did Derek say he would be here?" Lydia asked. She was working on taking analysis of anything that could be contaminated by the disease.

"Like, twenty minutes ago." Scott sighed. "I wonder what's taking him so long... Stiles, maybe you should-"

Suddenly, the door opened and there he was; Derek Hale, soaking wet and panting like a dog. No pun intended.

"Where the hell have you been? ... And why are you wet?" Kira asked.

"Running. My car wouldn't start, and I may or may not have fallen into a lake on my way here." Derek panted throwing his wet leather jacket to the ground on the porch.

"I'm not even going to ask how you ended up in a lake." Lydia said, shaking her head.

"I am. Derek, did you see the lake in front of you?" Stiles asked from where he was standing beside the counter of the small kitchen the body was in.

When did he get here? Derek didn't even sense his presence. Never the less, he replied. "Of course I saw it, I was just going too fast to stop in time. Scott sounded urgent on the phone."

Something flashed behind Stiles' eyes, like he knew Derek was lying, but he didn't say anything else.

"Well, it wasn't as bad as we thought. This was a small infection of the disease, but we believe it was due to the fact that he was a born wolf and human senses were too different to his body." Scott said.

"This wolf, he lived alone?" Derek asked, looking around. It wasn't hard to see, there was a small dining area, a hall that led to a single bedroom, and a tiny bathroom with a single shower. Oddly similar to the way Derek set up his loft, but on a smaller scale. "Didn't he have a pack?"

"Yeah, but they acted as individuals. They weren't as involved with each other as traditional packs." Stiles interjected. "Same goes for the last few cases."

"... Interesting." Derek said, wandering into the room quietly. He looked around at the shelves and books and tables. No pictures. No fictional books. Interesting, indeed.

"Why is that interesting? It's actually kinda depressing." Kira said, cringing slightly.

"Exactly." Was all Derek answered.

Suddenly, it was clear to Stiles. He raised a brow and straightened his stance. "Are you saying that the disease has a type?"

"Well, kind of. It's airborne, that's true, but what if it's affects only take root in a depressed host?" The suggestion was highly plausible. The past few victims had lived alone, with no family, and very little friends. Derek couldn't shake the feeling that that sounded familiar. He mentally switched his train of thought back to the case. _Distract yourself. This couldn't happen to you_.

"That's actually very probable." Stiles said, putting a hand into his hair. "Which worries me."

"Why?" Derek asked, raising a brow.

"Because- What if a lot of wolves are like you?" Stiles chuckled, but there was some kind of heaviness behind it. A suggestion that Derek didn't even want to think about.

"Do you think Derek could get this?" Lydia asked, suddenly sealing the items she was inspecting. If they were contaminated, Derek could be in danger.

"Of course not!" _If I don't already have it_. "Don't be stupid. That could never happen to me." _Unless it has_. "I'm not like these wolves." _Unless I am_. "And suicide would just be over the top." _Unless it's not..._

"Derek, I'm not saying this will happen to you but, if it does, I need you to tell me." Scott said. "I need to know so that we can-"

"What? So you can what? Help me? Thanks, but I don't think this disease, whatever the fuck it is, could ever affect me." Derek scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"But _if it does-_ " It was Lydia this time. She seemed desperate to get him to understand... something. Derek couldn't think. He wanted to go home.

"If it does, I'll call you." Derek said, heading back towards the door. His eyes slowly found their way to Stiles when he said the last part. Stiles watched as Derek picked up his jacket and turned away from them. "But I'll be fine." He added the last part as a promise. Mostly to himself, but also to them.

~

Maybe he should have asked for a ride home. It was dark and nothing looked familiar anymore. He couldn't tell if he was even remotely close to home. His heart began to pound and his breaths came in short panting gasps. _What is this?_ He thought, frantically. _I can't breath, my hands are shaking, my stomach is knotted. What_ is _this?!_

Derek closed his eyes and leaned against what he could only assume was a tree by the way the bark dug into his bare shoulders. He wasn't sure where exactly his jacket had gone but he couldn't keep his focus steady long enough to care. _I feel like I'm dying. I feel like there's a metal band around my lungs. I_ can't breath _!_

Suddenly, it hit him. _Panic. I'm panicking. Is that what this is? Is this what it feels like for Stiles? Stiles. Help. Need help._ Stiles _._

His thoughts became short statements rather than full phrases now. He couldn't move anymore. All he could do was lay his head back against the tree and hope that this unbelievable pain would go away soon.

It didn't.

~

Last night had been rough on all of them. Realizing Derek was the most at risk for this... thing made the whole pack begin thinking of what life would be without him.

Well, everyone except Stiles.

"He's not gonna die. Remember when we _wanted_ him dead? Yeah, lotta luck we got then." Stiles deadpanned. "Dude's invincible."

"Not if he gets infected." Lydia said. "Derek's a born wolf. He lives alone, no family, we're the closest thing he has to 'friends'."

"What Lydia said. We can't let him out of our sights like we've been doing." Scott said, decisively. "For all we know, he could already be infected."

The room was silent. Stiles knew it was the truth. He knew there was a good chance Derek was already the disease's next victim. He just didn't want to believe it.

~

Derek's eyes slid open to spots of sun filtered through the leaves in the tree he was sleeping under. When had he fallen asleep? _How_ had he fallen asleep? Memories of his 'fiasco' of the previous night flooded into his brain and, suddenly, Derek had a headache. Should he call someone? No. That would just worry the pack. He needed to get home.

As Derek slowly stood up and took note of his surroundings. He was in a clearing somewhere in the woods by his home. _Well, my senses are working fine. Now_. He thought bitterly. I _t was probably nothing. Probably just my imagination. That seems to be pretty active lately._

The sound of his phone ringing made Derek jump about ten feet in the air, but he'd never admit to that. He looked around and found his jacket laying in the grass a few yards from where he'd passed out. He walked over and grabbed the leather rag, pulling his phone from the pocket. He sighed and clicked 'ACCEPT'.

"Morning, Lydia." He said, making his way towards the loft. He realized that his tank top was now shredded and made a mental note to throw it away later.

"Derek, what the hell?! I've been calling you for two hours!" Lydia yelled, more out of concern than anything.

"I didn't hear my phone, Mom." It wasn't a total lie. Technically, he didn't hear his phone. Because he was unconscious. Under a tree. In the woods. All night. "What's up?"

"'What's up'? Derek, I should come over there and slap you right now." Lydia said. "Anyway, we're going out for food. I figured it would be better than the normal Chinese you've been eating everyday."

"That's nice, but... I'm not exactly home at the moment." Derek admitted.

"What? Then where are you?" Lydia asked.

"Um... on my way back, actually." Derek said, evading the real meaning behind her question.

"Let me rephrase; where _were_ you?" She corrected, clearly not amused by his little diversion.

"Um..." _Think, Derek, think. What would she believe...?_ "I slept at a friend's." He said. _That was the most pathetic excuse for an excuse ever_.

"Wha- oh. _Oh_. I see. Well, I'm coming over then." Lydia said, suddenly sounding excited.

"What? Why?"

"Because you got laid and I wanna know exactly who, what, when, where, and why." Lydia giggled. _Oh. Well, that was easier than expected._

"Oh. Um, ok, sure. I'll see you in a couple hours then?" Derek asked.

"Definitely."

~

After a much needed shower and burning one of his favorite shirts, Derek opened his fridge to find nothing but left over Chinese. He felt his stomach turn at just the thought of another carton of chicken lo mien. He closed the door and went to make some coffee instead. Despite the terrible taste, Derek needed caffeine. Pronto.

There was a knock on his door just as he was pouring the liquid into a mug. "Come in." He called to the door. His ears perked as he sensed not one, but two people enter his loft. One was Lydia, the other... someone he didn't exactly expect to see today.

"Hey, I brought Stiles. Hope that's ok." Lydia said, tossing her purse onto the counter. She didn't really care if he thought it was ok, because she didn't let him talk after that. "Ok, 1) I need some coffee too, please, and 2) why are you not wearing any clothes?"

"I just took a shower. Be lucky I have towels to keep you from seeing anything you don't want to." Derek snapped. He was tired and, honestly, didn't feel like making up a story about what, or who, he did last night.

"Believe me, honey, it's nothing I wouldn't love to see." Lydia smirked at him from where she was sitting at his dining table. Stiles still stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

"So, Derek, who's the lucky girl?" He smirked at him.

 _Ok, time to get creative_. "Uh, not a girl, actually." Derek said, handing Lydia the coffee he'd just made. He opted for some alcohol instead.

"Oh, a guy?" Lydia asked.

"Good deduction." Derek said.

Lydia rolled her eyes. "So, what was his name?" She asked, ignoring his blatant sarcasm.

"Uh, Nick." Derek said the first name that popped into his head.

"... And?" Lydia asked.

"And what? That's it. I didn't even get the guy's number." Derek finished, quickly opening his beer and downing as much as he could in one long sip.

"That's ok, I didn't need to hear details anyway." Stiles said, holding his hands up. "Can we leave?"

"We just got here!" Lydia whined. "I was gonna see if-" She stopped when her phone rang. "Hello?"

Derek tuned most of the call out, something about her mom needing her help with something at home, or whatever.

"Ugh, I'll see you two later." Lydia said grabbing her bag.

"Bye, Lydia." Derek half-waved her out the door. Stiles just nodded and watched her leave.

"Got anymore of those?" He asked, nodding towards the beer in Derek's hand. Derek glanced at him before grabbing him one from the fridge.

There was a long pause. Derek's not stupid, he knew Stiles didn't buy a word of his bullshit, but what was he supposed to do? Say, 'Hey, you know that terribly painful thing that happens to you sometimes but shouldn't happen to me because I'm a highly capable supernatural being? Yeah, it happened and, long story short, I slept under a tree in the woods.' Yep, that'd go over well.

The silence dragged on, neither of them really saying anything until Stiles' curiosity got the best of him.

"What really happened to you last night?" The younger asked.

"What do you mean?" Derek tried to play dumb. He really didn't feel like explaining this, much less to Stiles.

"I mean, I've seen that look in your eyes before, Derek." Stiles said. Derek said nothing, just finished his beer and looked at Stiles. "What happened?" His voice was quieter, almost soft.

 _Fuck it_. "I don't know." Derek replied, honestly. "I have no idea what happened."

"Ok." Stiles said, gently. He pushed himself from where he was leaning against the counter. "What do you remember?"

"I remember not knowing where I was." Derek said, closing his eyes. "Feeling lost. My instincts were completely blank, I had no idea where I was going. My heart wouldn't stop racing and my hands were shaking. It felt like there was something squeezing my lungs, I couldn't breath."

"You had a panic attack?" Stiles asked, his eyes searching Derek's face for some sign of realization. "Derek, that's not normal."

"I know!" Derek yelled, his eyes flying open again to look at Stiles. "I fucking know, ok?" He said, quieter this time, his voice breaking on the last word. "I must have passed out or something because the next thing I know is I'm waking up under a tree, somewhere, a couple miles from my house."

"Derek, we have to tell-"

"No. I'm fine, ok? There's nothing wrong. I've just been cooped up in here for too long." Derek sighed, running his hand through his still damp hair.

Stiles stared at him, unsure, as he took the beer from Derek's hand, placing them both down on the counter. "Listen to me, you asshole; we care about you. The last thing we need is for you to die, ok?"

"Stiles, you and I both know you guys would be better off without me." Derek said, without thinking. He paused and took in Stiles' expression; something between shocked and angry. "I- I don't know where that came from. I don't know why I said that..."

"You're sick, Derek!" Stiles burst suddenly. "And I want to help you! Why won't you let me help you?!"

"Because I'm not sick, Stiles!" Derek yelled back leaning forward in an attempted to scare the human.

"Don't pull that scary-werewolf-look shit on me." Stiles growled at him. "I swear to God, Derek, I will tell Scott exactly what happened last night."

"No! You can't!" Derek said, suddenly weak and desperate. God he hated this. "You can't..."

"Why not?" Stiles grabbed Derek's face. "Why don't you want help?"

"Because I'm not..." Derek trailed off looking at Stiles. He knew it was no use denying at this point; he was infected. "... Stiles, I'm scared."

Stiles' eyes softened but he suddenly looked panicked. He straightened his stance and dropped his hands from Derek's face to the sides of his neck. "Derek... You don't have to be scared." He said quietly.

Derek turned his head away to hide his face from Stiles. He shoved Stiles' hands away. "I've never- I don't understand these things. These... _human_ feelings. They're... Different." Derek said walking over to his dining table. He leaned against it, staring out the wall of windows.

"I know, Derek, but-"

"No, Stiles, you don't know. You've grown up feeling these things all your life. You grew up having panic attacks and feeling sadness and anger and happiness and disgust and... and fear on a huge scale. I've never felt this." Derek said. "I can't handle this-"

"Hey!" Stiles said, turning the wolf around. "You are not in danger, ok? I'm not gonna tell Scott, but I am going to be checking on you. Everyday." He pushed Derek's hair away from his eyes. The vulnerability behind his light eyes was staggering to Stiles. "God, you look so... distraught... Derek, I am so sorry..."

"Why?" Derek asked. "This isn't your fault."

"I'm sorry you have to go through this. I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy." Stiles admitted.

"Am I your worst enemy?" Derek smirked at him slightly, trying to lighten the mood.

Stiles just shook his head. "Far from it, I'm afraid." He said, leaning up to wrap his arms around Derek in a tight embrace. Derek was caught off guard. He paused for only a moment before wrapping his arms around Stiles' waist.

"Thank you, Stiles."

"It's my job, Derek. I love you. We love you." Stiles said, hastily adding the last part before pulling away from the embrace. Derek barely managed to hold back the whine of displeasure when he did. "Besides, who else is gonna protect me when Scott's too busy with saving Kira and Lydia?"

"Kira doesn't need saving." Derek laughed. "But I'd save you if you needed me to."

"Why?"

"Because you're saving me."


End file.
